thread jacking and such.ĪSCL, I do wish you would stick around. I am not concerned where this thread goes. I only wanted to bring attention to a subject that gets very little light. While it was my intent to hear other life experiences and revelations, I do believe even if turned into semantics, something can still be learned. That adds another layer to things that seems to be viewed by some/many here as insincere and/or thinly veiled attempts to make excuses when in reality it is not it's a genuine difference.Īnyway, I've t/j'd enough. And not just being a wayward, but being a wayward who is not neurotypical. I struggle to make sense of things and make myself understood even when I am comfortable and in areas where I have much knowledge and expertise, so one can see how I'd do even more poorly in uncharted terrain (being a wayward). Something that is clearly poorly regarded here and something I'd prefer not to be, yet it's what I am.
This is every conversation for me as a person with Asberger's every single day - and exponentially more so since joining SI because I'm out of my element: I'm now something I have never been in my life, a cheater. I'm not going to get anything out of it (perhaps due to my limited understanding, perhaps due to being uneducated, or perhaps because of a more benign yet currently unforeseen reason), and while healthy debate and dialogue are indeed healthy for most people, I lack the ability to discern when someone is referring to me vs when they're just being general when someone is poking fun at me/being sarcastic/trolling vs when they're being serious (NOT saying that's what's happening here, just making the statement) when something has a specific difference vs when it's just "splitting hairs"/semantics.Īs such, many conversations, including this one, are mentally exhausting for me as I try to figure out what hidden messages exist so I can decipher what the people actually meant, figure out what I want to say in response and if it makes any sense, and figure out if what I'm going to say might be perceived as unkind/unclear/unrelated and if so, re-word it so that it will be better received. Parent4 and others, I am not trying to ignore your questions, but I am going to bow out of this thread as I had intended to do earlier. I assume I am supposed to take that as I'm so weird/strange/abnormal that someone would remark colloquially that it would be interesting to "study" me - like a lab rat? Now, if I understand correctly, thanks to this thread I have a new one: apparently I'm a case study. I've been called many things by people in my life: mutt, mongrel, the n-word, Ass-burger head (by various people when I was a kid) and since the A by my BS I can add slut, whore, nasty bitch, and c*** to the list. I do think that crossing the line into physical acts is something I never would have or could have or will do. I don't believe that it speaks to my character however, I never had the intention to have a weak spot in my boundaries, I was just ignorant. So although I was always really proud of my boundaries, I have learned to improve them further. Luckily I never had to worry about going any further down that road because I did shut down any further inappropriateness, but I want to shut it down before it even begins now.
Sounds harsh but sharing that kind of information is the beginning of the road to hell. Now if that happened I would let them know that I think their husband would be much more interested in what they have to say than I am. Used to be that they would often tell me things about their relationships that I really didn't need to know(as I was basically forced to be in a room with these people as a captive listener) But I would pretend to listen and be supportive, thinking that I just needed to "get along" with them to keep the work environment positive. My idea of boundaries has changed since I've been through infidelity as well.
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